


Why Did You Make This Chat

by HootHootMotherFuckers



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Multi, also more pairings will be added, also yes i joined the mass of chatfic writers sue me, and polyamory cause im always a slut for polyamory, asahi is a sassy piece of shit, at first it's just gonna be karasuno, but almost everyone is probs gonna show up at some point, but then someone decides to fuck it up, but you can bet your ass there will be rare pairs, everyone is either lowkey or highkey sassy there is no in between, everyone roasts and gets roasted: the fic, i havent decided most end pairings, suga your mother is showing, too lazy to tag characters, yachi is an angel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-29
Updated: 2017-03-09
Packaged: 2018-07-27 11:05:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7615603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HootHootMotherFuckers/pseuds/HootHootMotherFuckers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>Assahi</b>: Why</p>
<p><b>SugaKou</b>: Cause you’re an ass</p>
<p><b>Sawamura Daichi</b>: Language</p>
<p><b>SugaKou</b>: Sue me</p>
<p><b>Assahi</b>: For what money</p>
<p><b>SugaKou</b>: Asahi you have five seconds until I come fight you</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Why

**Author's Note:**

> Yes I am going to join the mass of people who are writing chatfics, why? Because I can.
> 
> Also I need something to write while I suffer from writer's block on my other fic

_ 16:23 _

  
  


**SugaKou** added **Sawamura Daichi, Asahi, Kiyoko Shimizu, Ennoshita Chikara, Rhinosuke, Yuu know who, Kino Dorito, Bananarita, Kageyama Tobio, Hina ace, Yamagucci, Tsukishima Kei, Yachi Hitoka**

 

**SugaKou** has renamed the chat to  **Karasuno**

 

**Sawamura Daichi:** Suga why

 

**SugaKou:** Why not

 

**Asahi:** I thought I said this was a bad idea

 

**SugaKou:** This is just so I don’t have to go through everyone’s contacts to tell them about club schedules

 

**Kiyoko Shimizu:** Even if it wasn’t, it still wouldn’t be that bad of an idea.

 

**SugaKou:** ThaNK YOU KIYOKO

 

**Kiyoko Shimizu:** Np

 

**Hina ace:** i think this is an awesome idea sugawara senpai!!

 

**Tsukishima Kei:** Wow he can think, who knew

 

**SugaKou:** Thank you Hinata, and Tsukishima be nice

 

**Asahi:** I still think this is a bad idea

 

**SugaKou:** You never know! I doubt anyone would use this for anything bad

 

**Yuu know who:** SHIMIZU SENPAI

 

**Asahi:** Do you want to rethink that statement or should I let you take it back yourself

 

**SugaKou:** You know what Asahi

 

**SugaKou** renamed  **Asahi** to  **Assahi**

 

**Assahi:** Why

 

**SugaKou:** Cause you’re an ass

 

**Sawamura Daichi:** Language

 

**SugaKou:** Sue me

 

**Assahi:** For what money

 

**SugaKou:** Asahi you have five seconds until I come fight you

 

**Assahi:** Please don’t

 

**SugaKou:** :)

 

**Assahi:** Please

 

**SugaKou:** :))

  
  


_ 16:34 _

  
  


**Yuu know who:** Suga senpai I respect you but i will not let u beat up Asahi san!

 

**SugaKou:** Don’t worry I won’t

 

**Assahi:** Oh thank God

 

**SugaKou:** Yet

 

**Assahi:** Shit

  
  


_ 17:02 _

  
  


**Yamagucci:** Oh God what is this

 

**Tsukishima Kei:** A group chat, obviously

 

**Yamagucci:** With the whole team??

 

**SugaKou:** Yep!

 

**Yamagucci:** Isn’t that a little much?

 

**SugaKou:** We all talk on a regular basis anyway, and as I said before this is just so Kiyoko and I don’t have to send out the same text multiple times

 

**Yamagucci:** But does everyone else know that?

 

**SugaKou:** Don’t worry, we’ll make sure it doesn’t get out of hand

 

**Yamagucci:** Okay

 

**Kino Dorito:** This still sounds a bit chaotic but i can promise i won’t do anything bad

 

**Bananarita:** Same

 

**SugaKou:** Thanks!

  
  


_ 17:25 _

  
  


**SugaKou:** See guys this isn’t too bad of an idea

 

**Sawamura Daichi:** I give it a month, tops

 

**Assahi:** I give it a week

 

**SugaKou:** Y’all are rude

 

**Kiyoko Shimizu:** I give it two months

 

**SugaKou:** KIYOKO I TRUSTED YOU

 

**SugaKou:** WHY

 

**Kiyoko Shimizu:** I’m a manager, it’s my job

 

**SugaKou:** …

 

**SugaKou:** Well then

  
  
  


_ 17:50 _

  
  


**Ennoshita Chikara:** I just saw this

 

**Ennoshita Chikara:** I’m saying two months as well

  
  


_ 17:56 _

  
  


**SugaKou** renamed  **Ennoshita Chikara** to  **Ennoshit**

 

**Rhinosuke:** PFFFFFFFFF

 

**Ennoshit:** Tanaka not a word

 

**Rhinosuke:** U cant stop me

 

**Ennoshit:** You wanna bet?

 

**Rhinosuke:** Nope im good

 

**Yuu know who:** WHIPPED

 

**Rhinosuke:** Fuck you Noya

 

**Yuu know who:** only if u wanna

 

**Rhinosuke:** time and place

 

**Ennoshit:** ……

 

**Rhinosuke:** What

 

**Ennoshit:** I don’t know you guys

 

**Tsukishima Kei:** Then how are you talking to them

 

**Ennoshit:** You know what Tsukishima

 

**Tsukishima Kei:** No I don’t know, because I can’t read minds

 

**Ennoshit** left  **Karasuno**

 

**SugaKou** added  **Ennoshit**

 

**SugaKou:** No leaving

 

**Ennoshit:** Can you at least change my name then

 

**SugaKou:** No

 

**Ennoshit:** Why

 

**SugaKou:** I’m lazy

 

**Rhinosuke:** I CAN

 

**Ennoshit:** Wait Tanaka no

 

**Rhinosuke** renamed  **Ennoshit** to  **Eh no taking ur shit**

 

**Eh no taking ur shit:** I am now regretting asking

 

**Yuu know who:** ooh we get live commentary now

 

**Eh no taking ur shit:** Suga can I please leave

 

**SugaKou:** No

 

**Eh no taking ur shit:** Ugh

 

**Rhinosuke:** guess ur stuck w us ;)

 

**Yuu know who:** ;)

 

**Eh no taking ur shit:** Why me

 

**Rhinosuke:** ;))))))

 

**Eh no taking ur shit:** No

 

**Yuu know who:** ;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

 

**Eh no taking ur shit** left  **Karasuno**

 

**SugaKou** added  **Eh no taking ur shit**

 

**Eh no taking ur shit:** Suga please

 

**SugaKou:** Nope

 

**Rhinosuke:** ;)

 

**Eh no taking ur shit** is now offline

 

**Rhinosuke:** damn

 

**Yuu know who:** we will make him love us

 

**Bananarita:** Lmao good luck with that

 

**Yuu know who:** Everyone loves me what are you talking about

 

**Rhinosuke:** Yeah!!

 

**Kino Dorito:** Tsukishima doesn’t

 

**Tsukishima Kei:** I don’t

 

**Rhinosuke:** Tsukishima doesn’t count, he hates everyone

 

**Yuu know who:** except Yamaguchi

 

**Rhinosuke:** except Yamaguchi 

 

**Hina ace:** i like you guys!!

 

**Rhinosuke:** YEAH HINATA

 

**Yuu know who:** HINATA MY MAN

 

**Yachi Hitoka:** I like you guys too!

 

**Yuu know who:** HITOKA CHANNNNNN T~T

 

**Rhinosuke:** Weve been blessed by an angel

 

**Rhinosuke** renamed  **Yachi Hitoka** to  **small angel**

 

**Yuu know who** renamed  **small angel** to  **Smol angel**

 

**Smol angel:** aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

 

**Smol angel:** aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

 

**Yamagucci:** I think u guys broke Yachi

 

**Hina ace:** NOOO YACHI

 

**Smol angel:** I’m not dying!! Don’t worry about me!

 

**Kiyoko Shimizu:** They’ll still worry

 

**Yuu know who:** SHIMIZU SENPAI

 

**Rhinosuke:** KIYOKO SAN

 

**Kiyoko Shimizu:** Yes hello

 

**Rhinosuke:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

**Smol angel:** Oh dear

 

**Yuu know who:** Blessed by two angels in one day

 

**Yuu know who:** every man’s dream

  
  


_ 18:34 _

  
  


**Kageyama Tobio:** what

  
  


_ 19:00 _

  
  


**Smol angel:** Hi Kageyama!

 

**Hina ace:** i didnt think hed know how to use skype

 

**Tsukishima Kei:** He’s socially inept, not a grandpa

 

**Hina ace:** ..inept?

 

**Tsukishima Kei:** No skill

 

**Hina ace:** ohhhh

  
  


_ 19:24 _

  
  


**Kageyama Tobio:** TSUKISHIMA YOU ASS I HAVE SKILL

  
  


_ 19:31 _

  
  


**Tsukishima Kei:** At volleyball, maybe

 

**Tsukishima Kei:** Anything else and you can’t do shit

 

**Kageyama Tobio:** i can type

 

**Tsukishima Kei:** You can’t use punctuation.

 

**Kageyama Tobio** left  **Karasuno**

 

**Tsukishima Kei:** I win

  
  
  
  


_ 19:40 _

  
  


**Sawamura Daichi:** Tsukishima be nice to your teammates.

 

**Tsukishima Kei:** I will when he learns to use punctuation.

 

**Sawamura Daichi:** Be nice.

 

**Tsukishima Kei:** No promises.

  
  


_ 20:48 _

  
  


**SugaKou** has added  **Kageyama Tobio**

 

**SugaKou:** Gdi guys no leaving

  
  


_ 22:55 _

  
  


**Yuu know who** sent a photo

 

**Yuu know who:** Ryuu is this u

 

**Rhinosuke:** YES IT IS

 

**SugaKou:** What are you two still doing up

 

**SugaKou:** Go to sleep

 

**Yuu know who:** yes mother

 

**SugaKou:** GO

 

**Yuu know who:** cant make me

 

**SugaKou:** Go.

 

**Yuu know who:** :3

 

**SugaKou:** Even Voldemort sleeps, now go to sleep

 

**Rhinosuke:** mom

 

**SugaKou:** GO TO SLEEP

 

**Yuu know who:** arent you still awake tho

 

**SugaKou:** I’m doing homework

 

**Rhinosuke:** maybe we’re doing the same

 

**SugaKou:** The day I see you do homework is the day Tsukishima and Kageyama get along

 

**Rhinosuke:** tru

 

**Rhinosuke:** fine ill go to sleep

 

**Yuu know who:** same

 

**SugaKou:** Finally

 

**Yuu know who:** mom

 

**SugaKou:** GO

 

**Yuu know who:** im goin im goin

  
  
  


_ 23:43 _

  
  


**Kiyoko Shimizu** renamed  **SugaKou** to  **Sugamama**


	2. 1738

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Sugamama** : Well then
> 
> **Sugamama** : I guess I’m a single mother then
> 
> **Sugamama** : Considering I have nO HUSBAND

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is the fastest I have ever updated something, but hey I'm not complaining

_Tuesday, 05:33_

  


**Eh no taking ur shit:** Oh my God

 

**Eh no taking ur shit:** I CAN’T BREATHE

 

**Eh no taking ur shit:** Thank you Kiyoko, thank you

 

**Eh no taking ur shit:** This just made waking up at 5 worth it

  


_Tuesday, 05:45_

  


**Kiyoko Shimizu:** You’re welcome

  


_Tuesday, 05:57_

  


**Sugamama:** Shit what happened

 

**Sugamama:** Wait

 

**Sugamama:** KIYOKO

  


_Tuesday, 06:02_

  


**Rhinosuke:** HOMY GO D

 

**Rhinosuke:** THIS IS THE BEST

 

**Kino Dorito:** And strangely fitting

 

**Sugamama:** I can just change my name back you know

 

**Assahi:** But you haven’t

 

**Assahi:** Also since you said no leaving, there’s no changing your own name

 

**Sugamama:** You really are an ass

 

**Sugamama:** I’m gonna tell Coach you wanna do extra spiking and receiving practice

 

**Assahi:** Suga please don’t

 

**Assahi:** Actually he won’t even believe you about the receiving practice

 

**Sugamama:** But he definitely wouldn’t say no

 

**Assahi:** Crap you’re right

 

**Assahi:** Please don’t

 

**Sugamama:** ;)

 

**Assahi:** SUGA NO

  


_Tuesday, 06:17_

  


**Sawamura Daichi:** It is pretty fitting if you think about it

 

**Sawamura Daichi:** You do tend to mother the team

 

**Sawamura Daichi:** Not that it’s a bad thing

  


_Tuesday, 06:25_

  


**Sugamama:** Well then

 

**Sugamama:** I guess I’m a single mother then

 

**Sugamama:** Considering I have nO HUSBAND

 

**Yuu know who:** Rip Suga

  


_Wednesday, 05:41_

  


**Smol angel:** I’m going to be a little late today guys! I hope you don’t mind

 

**Sugamama:** It’s perfectly fine

 

**Sawamura Daichi:** We don’t mind, you’re always on time every other day

 

**Smol angel:** Okay, thank you!

  


_Wednesday, 06:50_

  


**Rhinosuke:** HOLY SHIT YACHI DID YOU REALLY

 

**Hina ace:** YACHI THANK U

 

**Smol angel:** I remembered you guys saying you always get hungry after practice so I decided to make a few snacks so you don’t get hungry in class

 

**Eh no taking ur shit:** You actually are an angel Yachi

 

**Sugamama:** Hurry up and get in here I wanna try them

  


_Wednesday, 10:17_

  


**Yuu know who:** im so boredddd

 

**Yuu know who:** where is everyone

 

**Yuu know who:** GUYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

 

**Yuu know who:** dalkajspoeihpaownepfiuayewio[qoiwheykjnkq;nwdfiaugsoeiufj

  


_Wednesday, 10:47_

  


**Sawamura Daichi:** We were all paying attention in class like you should've been

 

**Yuu know who:** But youre not now

 

**Sawamura Daichi:** My teacher gave us extra time, I already finished all my work

 

**Yuu know who:** damn

 

**Sawamura Daichi:** Put your phone away

 

**Yuu know who:** fine

  


_Wednesday, 11:52_

  


**Kino Dorito** renamed **Sawamura Daichi** to **Dadchi**

 

**Kino Dorito:** Found your husband Suga-senpai

  


_Wednesday, 12:00_

  


**Dadchi:** What

 

**Dadchi:** Why me

 

**Bananarita:** Why not?

 

**Bananarita:** You guys are already dating anyway might as well get married

 

**Dadchi:** What?

 

**Sugamama:** We aren’t??

 

**Dadchi:** We aren’t dating

 

**Eh no taking ur shit:** What

 

**Rhinosuke:** what

 

**Yuu know who:** wait what

 

**Assahi:** I couldve sworn

 

**Smol angel:** Wait you aren’t?

 

**Tsukishima Kei:** Yamaguchi pay up

 

**Yamagucci:** Dammit

 

**Sugamama:** You guys were betting on this?

 

**Bananarita:** no

 

**Kino Dorito:** no

 

**Assahi:** No

 

**Smol angel:** No

 

**Rhinosuke:** no

 

**Yuu know who:** Maybe

 

**Kiyoko Shimizu:** Yes

 

**Sugamama:** Kiyoko?

 

**Kiyoko Shimizu:** Asahi owes me

 

**Sugamama:** ASAHI?

 

**Assahi:** Didn’t you also bet they were dating

 

**Kiyoko Shimizu:** No

 

**Kiyoko Shimizu:** I bet something else

 

**Assahi:** Oh yeah

 

**Sugamama:** I feel so betrayed

 

**Dadchi:** Why on earth would you think we were dating

 

**Eh no taking ur shit** sent a file

 

**Dadchi:** His hands were cold!

 

**Sugamama:** I forgot my gloves okay

 

**Eh no taking ur shit:** Sureeee

 

**Sugamama:** Ennoshita.

 

**Eh no taking ur shit:** I said nothing

 

**Sugamama:** -.-

 

**Dadchi:** Let’s just forget this conversation happened

 

**Sugamama:** ^^

 

**Tsukishima Kei:** Fine by me

  


_Wednesday, 12:43_

  


**Hina ace:** wait you two arent dating?

  


_Wednesday, 12:51_

  


**Sugamama:** DID EVERYONE THINK WE WERE DATING?

 

**Kino Dorito:** yes

 

**Assahi:** Even coach thought you two were together

 

**Sugamama:** …

 

**Sugamama:** I give up

  


_Friday, 21:48_

  


**Kiyoko Shimizu:** Practice is cancelled for tomorrow, they’re using the gym for a school meeting

 

**Hina ace:** Aww

 

**Rhinosuke:** They couldnt just use the regular meeting room

 

**Kiyoko Shimizu:** It’s being renovated

 

**Rhinosuke:** damn

  


_Sunday, 17:13_

  


**Yuu know who:** Hey Yachi you should make more of those snacks from Wednesday for tomorrow’s practice

 

**Yuu know who:** Only if you want to though

 

**Yuu know who:** Dont feel pressured to

 

**Smol angel:** Ah I don’t feel pressured! I’ll try my best, but I have to make them in the morning so I’ll probably be a little late again

 

**Sugamama:** That’s fine, everyone appreciates it

 

**Hina ace:** yeah!! Theyre really good Yacchan!!

 

**Smol angel:** Thanks!

  


_Sunday, 17:38_

  


**Kino Dorito** sent a link

  


_Sunday, 17:56_

  


**Bananarita:** Dammit Kinoshita you stole my idea

 

**Kino Dorito:** ;P

  


_Sunday, 18:11_

  


**Dadchi:** I’m so confused

 

**Rhinosuke:** what is there to be confused about

 

**Rhinosuke:** IT’S 1738

 

**Tsukishima Kei:** It’s 18:12

 

**Rhinosuke:** 1738

 

**Dadchi:** It isn’t 17:38?

 

**Rhinosuke:** You guys are hopeless

 

**Eh no taking ur shit:** Now you understand how everyone feels about you on a daily basis

 

**Rhinosuke:** ENNOSHITA WHY YOU GOTTA DRAG ME LIKE THIS

 

**Eh no taking ur shit:** I’m not dragging you, I’m stating a fact

 

**Rhinosuke** renamed **Eh no taking ur shit** to **Ennobullshit**

 

**Rhinosuke:** Fuck u

 

**Tsukishima Kei:** Nobody wants to do that

 

**Rhinosuke** left **Karasuno**

 

**Ennobullshit** added **Rhinosuke**

 

**Ennobullshit:** Suck it up buttercup

 

**Rhinosuke:** Fuck off

 

**Yamagucci** renamed **Rhinosuke** to **Buttercup**

 

**Buttercup:** YAMAGUCHI I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS

 

**Yamagucci:** We are

 

**Yamagucci:** I just couldn’t pass up an opportunity

 

**Ennobullshit:** Yamaguchi you are now my favourite

 

**Yamagucci:** Thanks?

 

**Buttercup:** Hinata still is and always will be my fav

 

**Tsukishima Kei:** That’s because no one else calls you senpai

 

**Buttercup:** Kageyama calls me senpai

 

**Ennobullshit:** He doesn’t count

 

**Buttercup:** SENPAI IS SENPAI

 

**Tsukishima Kei:** Which is what you are not

 

**Buttercup:** Stfu Hotaru

 

**Yamagucci:** Oh God

 

**Yamagucci:** Don’t

 

**Yamagucci:** Tsukki don’t rage

 

**Yamagucci:** Please

 

**Yamagucci:** Tanaka-san I suggest you run

 

**Yamagucci:** If you value your life, run

 

**Yamagucci:** Run and don’t look back

 

**Buttercup:** Uh

 

**Buttercup** left **Karasuno**

 

**Kino Dorito:** damn I wanted to see some shit go down

  


_Sunday, 19:22_

  


**Sugamama** added **Buttercup** to the chat

 

**Sugamama:** Why is everyone’s first course of action to leave gdi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes the link Kinoshita sent was to 1738, everyone thinks the Karasuno memers are Tanaka and Nishinoya? Ohhh no, it's Kinoshita and Narita
> 
> Feel free to scream with or at me on [Tumblr](http://nishinoyalovesyuu.tumblr.com/)!


	3. Tortilla

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Yuu know who:** BRO U JUST GOT PWNED
> 
> **Buttercup:** STFU NOYA I CAN CHANGE UR NAME
> 
> **Yuu know who:** YOU WOULDNT DARE
> 
> **Buttercup:** WATCH ME YOU LORD OF THE NO-NOSED

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was hungry while writing this so I apologize for the tortilla part (not really)

_Monday, 06:39_

  


**Buttercup:** hey Ennoshita

  


_Monday, 06:46_

  


**Buttercup:** Ennoshita i got a deal for you

  


_Monday, 06:50_

  


**Buttercup:** Ennoshitaaaaaaaaa

 

**Ennobullshit:** What

 

**Ennobullshit:** I was eating

 

**Buttercup:** ur a slowass eater

 

**Ennobullshit:** And?

 

**Buttercup:** nothing

 

**Buttercup:** anyway so how about you change my name and i change yours

 

**Ennobullshit:** Alright, deal

 

**Buttercup:** YES

 

**Buttercup** renamed **Ennobullshit** to **Chikara**

 

**Buttercup:** alright now change mine

  


_Monday, 07:15_

  


**Buttercup:** Ennoshita?

  


_Monday, 07:23_

  


**Buttercup:** Ennoshitaaa??

 

**Chikara** is now offline

 

**Buttercup:** ENNOSHITA

 

**Buttercup:** you little shit

 

_You may not change the name of_ **Chikara** _for they are offline_

 

**Buttercup:** ENNOSHITA GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE

  


_Monday, 07:30_

  


**Kino Dorito:** Tanaka, buddy

 

**Bananarita:** I can’t believe u actually fell for that

 

**Buttercup:** excuse me for trusting someone

 

**Kino Dorito:** smh man

 

**Yuu know who:** BRO U JUST GOT PWNED

 

**Buttercup:** STFU NOYA I CAN CHANGE UR NAME

 

**Yuu know who:** YOU WOULDNT DARE

 

**Buttercup:** WATCH ME YOU LORD OF THE NO-NOSED

 

**Yuu know who:** HOW DARE YOU

 

**Yuu know who:** I AM THE DANK LORD

 

**Yuu know who:** I MEANT DARK LORD

 

**Buttercup:** WELL U SURE AS HELL AINT THE BRIGHT LORD

 

**Yuu know who:** YOU WANNA GO M8

 

**Buttercup:** BRING IT

  


_Monday, 07:56_

  


**Dadchi:** What did I just witness

 

**Sugamama:** Idek

 

**Kino Dorito:** Noya is a Dank Lord

 

**Bananarita** renamed **Yuu know who** to **Dank Lord**

 

**Bananarita:** How tf did he even mistype that

 

**Bananarita:** The n and r are nowhere near each other

 

**Kino Dorito:** It’s Noya

 

**Bananarita:** Fair point

  


_Monday, 12:58_

  


**Dank Lord:** You kno Im not even mad

 

**Dank Lord:** this is almost as good as my other one

 

**Kino Dorito:** Good

 

**Kino Dorito:** Cause no one’s changing it

  


_Wednesday, 14:34_

  


**Sugamama:** Guys why is Oikawa here

 

**Sugamama:** We aren’t having a practice match today

 

**Sugamama:** And why the hell is he already making a move on 90% of the girls here

 

**Sugamama:** EVEN MICHIMIYA IS OVER THERE WHAT THE HELL I THOUGHT SHE HAD MORALS

 

**Hina ace:** O i asked him if he could help me with smthing and he said hed pick me up

 

**Tsukishima Kei:** You might want to hurry before he picks up one of the girls first

 

**Kageyama Tobio:** Why the hell did you ask Oikawa

 

**Kageyama Tobio:** you could have asked me

 

**Hina ace:** it wasnt something that needed a setter

 

**Kageyama Tobio:** what the fuck kind of thing do you need help with that requires Oikawa that isn’t setting?

 

**Hina ace:** Its a secret okay!! And dont be so vulgar!

 

**Kageyama Tobio:** Tell me what you need Oikawa for

 

**Hina ace:** Y should i tell you

 

**Kageyama Tobio:** Just tell me

 

**Hina ace:** Fine

 

**Hina ace:** i accidentally told him i was going to see Kenma this weekend and i wanted to find one of those sweatshirts with the pockets for a cat to lay in since he’s wanted one for who knows how long but i didnt kno where to find one but Oikawa said he knew a place and that he could sho me since we both had the day off for practice and he was planning on going there today

 

**Kageyama Tobio:** oh

 

**Sugamama:** Ohh you’re going to see Kozume-kun on Saturday? That’s great!

 

**Hina ace:** yea!! Theres a new game coming out and kuroo san is going to be busy so he cant camp out with him so i told him i could

 

**Sugamama:** Aw how sweet, you’re a great friend Hinata

 

**Hina ace:** Thank u!!

 

**Hina ace:** anyway i gotta go ill see you guys at practice tomorrow!!

  


_Wednesday, 17:46_

  


**Yamagucci:** GUYS HELP

 

**Chikara:**?

 

**Kino Dorito:**?

 

**Sugamama:** What’s wrong?

 

**Yamagucci:** TSUKKI’S GONE BESERK

 

**Chikara:** Who pissed him off this time

 

**Yamagucci:** THAT’S THE PROBLEM

 

**Yamagucci:** I DON’T KNOW WHO IT IS

 

**Yamagucci:** HE WAS JUST TEXTING SOMEONE AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN HE THROWS HIS PHONE AT THE WALL AND NOW HE’S STORMING AROUND MY HOUSE LIKE HE’S ABOUT TO KILL SOMEONE

 

**Kino Dorito:** Is the phone okay

 

**Yamagucci:** YES

 

**Kino Dorito:** Then just look at his phone

 

**Yamagucci:** YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND

 

**Kino Dorito:** ?

 

**Yamagucci:** IF I DO THAT IT WILL MAKE IT WORSE

 

**Kino Dorito:** O

 

**Yamagucci:** HE JUST RAIDED MY PANTRY

 

**Yamagucci:** HE’S JUST ANGRILY EATING A TORTILLA

 

**Yamagucci:** SHOULD I BE CONCERNED

 

**Chikara:** I feel sorry for the tortilla

 

**Sugamama:** Do you need someone to rescue you

 

**Kino Dorito:** Or protect you

 

**Yamagucci:** MAYBE

 

**Buttercup** renamed the chat **Karasuno** to **Protect Yamaguchi 2k16**

 

**Yamagucci** sent a file

 

**Yamagucci:** HE’S MURDERING THE TORTILLA

 

**Yamagucci:** I AM ACTUALLY SCARED FOR MY LIFE RIGHT NOW

 

**Dank Lord:** he’s a tortilla murderer

 

**Dank Lord:** soon he will be a cereal killer

 

**Yamagucci:** SHIT I HAVE TO GO

 

**Kino Dorito:** Why?

 

**Yamagucci** sent a file

 

**Yamagucci:** HE CAUGHT ME TAKING THIS

 

**Dank Lord:** Idk if I should laugh or not

 

**Chikara:** I am

 

**Kino Dorito** renamed **Tsukishima Kei** to **Tortillashima**

 

**Kino Dorito:** People need to learn to log off to prevent this

 

**Bananarita:** im pretty sure that name takes the cake for all others it is perfection

 

**Sugamama:** Agreed

  


_Thursday, 18:37_

  


**Kino Dorito:** NARITA

 

**Bananarita:** WHAT

 

**Kino Dorito:** DID YOU FINISH BNHA

 

**Bananarita:** YEAH

 

**Bananarita:** I’M READING THE MANGA

 

**Bananarita:** KAMINARI IS MY FAVOURITE HE’S AWESOME

 

**Kino Dorito:** WHAT ABOUT TODOROKI??

 

**Kino Dorito:** HE’S FUCKING BADASS

 

**Bananarita:** YEAH BUT YOU KNOW HOW I AM WITH ANY CHARACTER WITH LIGHTNING POWERS

 

**Kino Dorito:** OH YEAH YOU WERE OBSESSED WITH LAXUS A WHILE BACK

 

**Kino Dorito:** HOLY SHIT

 

**Bananarita:** WHAT?

 

**Kino Dorito:** GIMME A SEC YOU’RE GONNA LOVE ME

 

**Kino Dorito** renamed **Bananarita** to **Kaminarita**

 

**Kaminarita:** Kinoshita marry me

 

**Kino Dorito:** If you insist

  
  


_Thursday, 18:59_

  


**Chikara:** Wait what

 

**Assahi:** I don’t even know

 

**Dadchi:** I’m confused.

 

**Chikara:** I think we all are

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is my love for the second years showing yet
> 
> I'm sorry for you guys that loved Bananarita I was planning on changing it at some point, but it may make a return at some point!


	4. BACK AT IT AGAIN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Kaminarita:** am I mistaken or did you just call us kids
> 
> **Sugamama:** I did
> 
> **Kino Dorito:** We’re only a year or two younger than you
> 
> **Sugamama:** If I am a mom then you fuckers are my children

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I am so so so so sorry for the long absence from updating, I made the mistake of taking one of the hardest classes my school has to offer as well as playing a sport at the same time which means 0 free time for me!! What a joy!
> 
> Aaagh anyway, I hope you enjoy this update!

_ Saturday, 13:54 _

  
  


**Hina ace** _ sent a file _

 

**Hina ace:** HE LOVES IT

 

**Hina ace** _ sent a file _

 

**Hina ace:** AND SO DOES HIS CAT

 

**Dank Lord:** HOLY SHIT DUDE WHATS HIS CATS NAME

 

**Hina ace:** THAT ONE IS FUMIO

 

**Hina ace** _ sent a file _

 

**Hina ace:** THIS IS TOSHIKO

 

**Hina ace** _ sent a file _

 

**Hina ace:** AND HE JUST GOT THIS LITTLE GUY A LITTLE WHILE AGO SO HE STILL NEEDS A NAME

 

**Hina ace:** ANY SUGGESTIONS????

 

**Hina ace:** I CANT THINK OF ANYTHING THAT COULD FIT HIM

 

**Sugamama:** Maybe Itsuki? Since his eyes are brown?

 

**Hina ace:** nah he already had a cat named Itsuki adn he doesnt wanna repeat names

 

**Dank Lord:** MASARU I ALWAYS WANTED A CAT NAMED MASARU

 

**Hina ace:** hmm

 

**Hina ace:** OH is it ok if i add Kenma into the chat so he can put his input?

 

**Sugamama:** Sure!

 

**Hina ace** added  **Apple Pi** to the chat

 

**Hina ace** renamed  **Apple Pi** to  **Kittenma**

 

**Kittenma:** Hi

 

**Sugamama:** Hi Kozume!

 

**Kittenma:** Kenma’s fine

 

**Dank Lord:** HEY KENMA

 

**Dank Lord:** WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MASARU FOR YOUR CATS NAME

 

**Kittenma:** It’s not bad, but wouldn’t you want to save it for your own cat? I don’t want to steal it from you

 

**Dank Lord:** shit youre right

 

**Dank Lord:** maybe Haruto because of his fur?

 

**Kittenma:** Kuro already has a cat named Haruto

 

**Dank Lord:** Damn

 

**Dank Lord:** Uhhhhh

 

**Dank Lord:** i’m at a blank

  
  


_ Saturday, 14:16 _

  
  


**Chikara:** What about Youta

  
  


_ Saturday, 14:20 _

  
  


**Dank Lord:** HOLY SHIT ENNOSHITA THATS A REALLY GOOD NAME

 

**Sugamama:** It’s actually really suiting if you think about it

 

**Kittenma:** I like Youta

 

**Hina ace:** YAY YOUTA IS SO CUTE

 

**Tortillashima:** Figures

 

**Hina ace:** ?

 

**Tortillashima:** Nothing that you need to know yet

 

**Hina ace:** wat????

 

**Tortillashima:** I’m sure Kenma knows what I’m talking about

 

**Kittenma:** I have no clue what you are talking about Tsukishima

 

**Tortillashima:** Whatever helps you sleep at night

 

**Hina ace:** ?

  
  


_ Sunday, 19:23 _

 

**Sugamama:** I have officially given up on trying to do homework while babysitting

 

**Sugamama:** These kids are obnoxious

 

**Sugamama:** SHIT THEY ALMOST SPILLED APPLE JUICE ON MY PAPERS

 

**Sugamama:** WHY DID I AGREE TO THIS

 

**Chikara:** Why’re you even doing homework when you should be watching them

 

**Sugamama:** Because I’m technically not even babysitting

 

**Sugamama:** I’m just getting paid to make sure they get their chores done and go to bed on time

 

**Sugamama:** The oldest is the main one watching them but I think she’s lost hope too

 

**Sugamama** : I don’t blame her

 

**Sugamama:** At least I can leave in two hours

 

**Kino Dorito:** Oh yeah I had to do that with my brothers

 

**Kino Dorito:** I still do actually

 

**Sugamama:** SO DO I, BUT THESE KIDS ARE LIKE LITTLE DEVIL SPAWNS

 

**Sugamama:** I SWEAR IT’S EASIER TO HANDLE YOU KIDS THAN TO HANDLE THESE SHITS

 

**Kaminarita:** am I mistaken or did you just call us kids

 

**Sugamama:** I did

 

**Kino Dorito:** We’re only a year or two younger than you

 

**Sugamama:** If I am a mom then you fuckers are my children

 

**Kino Dorito:** but that would mean mine and Narita’s marriage is incest

 

**Sugamama:** THERE’S A THING SUCH AS ADOPTION

 

**Kino Dorito:** Alright mother

 

**Sugamama:** You’re a child

 

**Kino Dorito:** IM 16

 

**Sugamama:** C H I L D

 

**Kino Dorito:** S U G A

 

**Assahi:** Suga your child is taller than you

 

**Sugamama:** HE’S ONLY A CM TALLER FUCK OFF ASSAHI

 

**Kino Dorito:** IM STILL TALLER

 

**Sugamama:** I

 

**Sugamama** _ is now offline _

 

**Kino Dorito:** I wiiiiiiin

  
  


_ Sunday, 20:28 _

 

**Kaminarita:** and you question why he called you a child

 

**Kino Dorito:** im divorcing you

 

**Kaminarita:** Nooo babe

 

**Kino Dorito:** No going back now i got the papers

 

**Kaminarita:** WE JUST GOT MARRIED THO

 

**Kino Dorito:** we passed the honeymoon phase

 

**Kino Dorito:** it’s over Narita

 

**Kaminarita:** I’ll get u some pickled ginger

 

**Kino Dorito:** oh would you look at that the papers somehow fell into the trash

  
  


_ Sunday, 20:34 _

 

**Chikara:** Just like your dignity

  
  


_ Sunday, 20:39 _

 

**Kino Dorito:** ENNOSHITA THAT WAS UNCALLED FOR

 

**Chikara:** It wasn’t uncalled for if someone was thinking it

 

**Kino Dorito:** And who was thinking it

 

**Chikara:** Me

 

**Kino Dorito** _ is now offline _

 

**Yamagucci:** Pfff

  
  


_ Monday, 05:23 _

 

**Kiyoko Shimizu:** I was thinking it too

  
  


_ Monday, 05:30 _

 

**Chikara:** HA

 

**Kino Dorito:** Shush

  
  


_ Monday, 05:54 _

 

**Kittenma:** I thought so too

 

**Sugamama:** Shit I forgot you were here Kenma

 

**Kittenma:** I can leave if that’s a problem

 

**Sugamama:** Nah you’re good

 

**Sugamama:** Not like you’re causing any trouble

 

**Sugamama:** UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE

 

**Dank Lord:** i feel attacked

 

**Sugamama:** NO ONE CARES HOW YOU FEEL NOYA

 

**Kino Dorito:** Youre a wonderful mother Suga

 

**Sugamama:** Fuck off you left bc of a stab to your dignity

 

**Buttercup:** DAMN SUGA

 

**Buttercup:** BACK AT IT AGAIN WITH THE RUTHLESS ROASTS

 

**Sugamama:** Youre a fcking flower Tanaka you have no room t speak

 

**Assahi:** Suga did your coffee maker break again

 

**Sugamama:** yES

 

**Sugamama:** AND IT ISNT FIXABLE THIS TIME SO I HAVE TO PAY FOR A NEW ONE

 

**Sugamama:** MY MOM WONT PAY FOR ANOTHER ONE BECAUSE SHE DOESNT USE IT

 

**Dadchi:** You can have my coffee for today if you want

 

**Sugamama:** THANK YOU DAICHI YOU’RE A LIFE SAVER

 

**Dadchi:** And I can bring you one until you get a new coffee maker

 

**Sugamama:** THANKYOU THANK YOUASDTHANKA YOU

 

**Kittenma:** I don’t know how soon I could get it to you, but if you want I have an extra one since my sister left for college and just let me have it.

 

**Sugamama:** But it’s yours, I don’t want to just take it from you

 

**Kittenma:** I don’t really like coffee, the only person who really used it after my sister gave it to me was Kuroo but he just got one of his own so it’s not getting used anymore.

 

**Sugamama:** Ohh, well in that case I’d appreciate it! Thank you so much!

 

**Hina ace:** i could bring it back with me next time i go visit u Kenma

 

**Kittenma:** Okay, are you able to come over again this weekend?

 

**Hina ace:** sure!! ill double check with my mom later today to make sure i dont have to watch Natsu

 

**Kittenma:** If you have to you could bring her with you if you want, or you could just come next time you’re available.

 

**Hina ace:** ok!! Natsu loves u so if i have to watch her she wouldnt have a problem coming along!

  
**Kittenma:** Ok :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fumio – literature, scholarly hero
> 
> Toshiko – clever child
> 
> Itsuki – timber trees
> 
> Masaru – victory
> 
> Haruto – sun flying
> 
> Youta – great sunlight
> 
> I may or may not have spent over an hour looking for cat names that could be similar to Hinata's like goddamn.
> 
> ALSO you do not understand the mental struggle I had deciding between Haruto and Youta for that cat.


	5. HE LIVES

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Nekuro:** ;P
> 
> **Tortillashima** has left **Karasuno**
> 
> **Sugamama** added **Tsukishima Kei** to the chat
> 
> **Sugamama:** Oh hello Kuroo
> 
> **Nekuro:** Ayyyy Suga long time no see

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AFTER WHAT SEEMS LIKE FIVE YEARS I HAVE FINALLY RESURRECTED
> 
> I am so so so so sorry for the incredibly long delay in updating this fic, there were multiple reasons for that (mainly being writer's block and laziness) but I still managed to finally get this one done

_ Thursday, 11:34 _

  
  


**Kaminarita** sent a file

 

**Kaminarita:** when ur mom figures out you didn’t have lunch #blessed

 

**Kino Dorito:** Suga is a blessing to us all

 

**Sugamama:** You’re just lucky that I brought more than I usually bring today

 

**Kaminarita:** What can i say, Im a naturally lucky person

 

**Kino Dorito:** that can’t seem to get the balls to ask his crush out

 

**Kino Dorito:** or tell his BTEST FRIEND WHO AIT FCKIN ISE

 

**Kaminarita** _ is now offline _

 

**Kino Dorito:** wow ok

 

**Chikara:** It’s kinda your fault for not realizing who it is

 

**Kino Dorito:** YOU NKOW??????????

 

**Kino Dorito:** WHO ISI T??

 

**Chikara:** You have to figure it out yourself

 

**Kino Dorito** renamed  **Chikara** to  **Fullo’shita**

 

**Fullo’shita:** Hey I figured it out on my own as well

 

**Fullo’shita:** Although I guess it’s somewhat different for you..

 

**Fullo’shita:** Oh well

 

**Kino Dorito:** WHATS THAT SUPOSESDP TO MEAN

 

**Fullo’shita:** ;)

 

**Fullo’shita** _ is now offline _

 

**Kino Dorito:** GODDMIT ENNOSHITA

  
  


_ Thursday, 13:56 _

  
  


**Hina ace:** if it helps u feel better i dont know who he likes either

 

**Kino Dorito:** That’s somewhat comforting

 

**Tortillashima:** Not really, he’s denser than a brick and can’t even realize who he himself likes

 

**Yamagucci:** Uh, Tsukki?

 

**Tortillashima:** What?

 

**Yamagucci:** Pot meet kettle

 

**Tortillashima** _ is now offline _

 

**Yamagucci:** Just sayin

 

**Hina ace:** ?

 

**Yamagucci:** Long story

 

**Hina ace:** okayy

  
  


_ Friday, 20:34 _

 

**Buttercup** _ sent a file _

 

**Buttercup:** NOT DATING HMMM??????????

 

**Dadchi:** We aren’t!!

 

**Sugamama:** How did you even get that?

 

**Buttercup:** my sis and i were out on errands

 

**Buttercup:** Btw if you dont want people thinking ur dating it’s probs best to not sit by the window

 

**Fullo’shita:** Especially at night

 

**Fullo’shita:** That’s like the ultimate couple spot

 

**Fullo’shita:** Also your faces say that is definitely a date

 

**Sugamama:** Ennoshita I thought you said you didn’t like romance films

 

**Fullo’shita:** I don’t need knowledge in romance films to see that you two like each other

 

**Smol angel:** Sorry to butt in, but it does look that way

 

**Tortillashima:** Even an idiot like Hinata could see that

 

**Kittenma:** it does

 

**Kittenma:** Sawamura youre gay asf

 

**Dadchi:** ?

 

**Kittenma:** Sorry, that was Kuro, he was curious about why my phone kept going off.

 

**Kittenma:** Also, Tsukishima, he says to stop ignoring the other chat.

 

**Tortillashima:** Tell him I said fuck off and find someone else to bother

 

**Kittenma:** TSUKKI COME ON

 

**Tortillashima:** No

 

**Kittenma** added  **Nekuro** to the chat

 

**Nekuro:** fine then if youre gonna ignore our chat and talk in this one

 

**Kittenma:** I’m sorry, he took my phone again.

 

**Nekuro:** ;P

 

**Tortillashima** has left  **Karasuno**

 

**Sugamama** added  **Tsukishima Kei** to the chat

 

**Sugamama:** Oh hello Kuroo

 

**Nekuro:** Ayyyy Suga long time no see

 

**Nekuro:** Although that’s kinda surprising since u and Yakkun are always talking

 

**Sugamama:** I have a select group of people I like to talk to regularly

 

**Nekuro:** Im wounded

 

**Sugamama:** Be thankful I’m letting you stay in this chat, I could kick you out sooner than we’ll kick your asses at nationals

 

**Nekuro:** sooo…. never?

 

**Sugamama** kicked  **Nekuro** from the chat

 

**Sugamama** added  **Nekuro** to the chat

 

**Sugamama:** Tread lightly :)

 

**Nekuro:** alright alright

 

**Nekuro:** Btw is it k if I add Bo, hes feeling a little left out

 

**Sugamama:** Sure

 

**Nekuro** added  **Bokuhoot** to the chat

 

**Bokuhoot:** TSUUUUUUKKKIIIISHIMMMAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

**Tsukishima Kei:** Miscreants

 

**Tsukishima Kei:** Sugawara-san you’re slowly losing my trust

 

**Sugamama:** ;)

 

**Sugamama:** Use too many words that they don’t know and you’ll be mistaken for a dictionary

 

**Sugamama:** Or should I say

 

**Sugamama:** A dicktionary

 

**Tsukishima Kei:** Who’s side are you on

 

**Sugamama:** I’m a fucking god and you’re the mortals fighting beneath me

 

**Nekuro:** he’s also fucking a god

 

**Bokuhoot:** the god of thighs

 

**Nekuro:** Sawamura’s thighs are godly

 

**Nekuro:** Also

 

**Nekuro** renamed  **Tsukishima Kei** to  **Dicktionary**

 

**Nekuro:** Thank u Sugawara for that gift

 

**Dadchi:** Should I be concerned why you were looking at my thighs

 

**Nekuro:** Who hasnt

 

**Dicktionary:** Kuroo you continue to disgust me

 

**Nekuro:** U know you love it ;)

 

**Dicktionary:** Fuck off

  
  


_ Saturday, 13:23 _

  
  


**Kageyama Tobio:** HINATA WHERE ARE YOU

 

**Kino Dorito:** he lives

 

**Kino Dorito:** Also im p sure he’s with Kenma atm so you probably won’t get a response for a while

 

**Kageyama Tobio:** why is he with Kenma?

 

**Kino Dorito:** Cause they planned to?

 

**Kageyama Tobio:** okay

  
  


_ Saturday, 13:54 _

  
  


**Kino Dorito:** Aaaaand now hes dead again

 

**Kiyoko Shimizu:** He’s never really on here

 

**Kino Dorito:** well neither are you

 

**Kino Dorito:** Although u don’t say much in general

 

**Kiyoko Shimizu:** I was curious why Nekoma and Fukurodani’s captains joined last night

 

**Kino Dorito:** ah yeah I guess that would raise a few questions

 

**Kino Dorito:** It was pretty funny too if you ask me

 

**Kiyoko Shimizu:** Very

 

**Dank Lord:** KIYOYO

 

**Dank Lord:** FUCK

 

**Dank Lord:** I MEANT KIYOKO

 

**Dank Lord:** IM SORRY PLEASE DONT HATE ME

 

**Kiyoko Shimizu:** You’re good

 

**Dank Lord:** OH THANK GOD

 

**Sugamama** renamed  **Kiyoko Shimizu** to  **Kiyoyo**

 

**Sugamama:** REVENGE

 

**Kiyoyo:** Try as you might to deny it, we all know you secretly like it

 

**Sugamama:** Stfu Kiyoyo

 

**Kiyoyo:** Okay

 

**Kiyoyo** _ is now offline _

 

**Sugamama:** Wow

 

**Sugamama:** Ok then

 

**Assahi:** Suga you scared our manager away

 

**Sugamama:** Asahi why is it that whenever you are on here you always feel the need to torment me

 

**Assahi:** You make it easy?

 

**Sugamama** _ is now offline _

 

**Assahi:** Too easy sometimes

 

**Dank Lord:** Why dont u have some of this confidence in person

 

**Assahi:** Uh

 

**Assahi:** UHH

 

**Assahi** _ is now offline _

 

**Fullo’shita:** Maybe we should get him like that before a match sometime

 

**Fullo’shita:** That’d be interesting to see

 

**Dank Lord:** ENNOSHITA UR A GENIUS

 

**Fullo'shita:** So I've been told


	6. I'VE GOT A JAR OF DIRT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Nekuro:** yall need to chill
> 
> **Dicktionary:** Did you just say yall
> 
> **Nekuro:** Yes?
> 
> **Dicktionary:** Why
> 
> **Nekuro:** cause I can

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I legit have no reason for the long ass break except for my own laziness so I apologize for that, I've just been a bit unmotivated lately
> 
> Anyway here's chapter six
> 
> Ps [here's](http://nishinoyalovesyuu.tumblr.com/post/136972558963/moonlighttdragon-nishinoyalovesyuu-its) Kiyoyo from last chapter

_Sunday, 10:46_

  


**Kino Dorito:** YALL I GOT AN ANNOUNCEMENT

 

**Nekuro:** did you and that one guy fuck

 

**Kino Dorito:** uh

 

**Kino Dorito:** No?

 

**Nekuro:** u don’t sound so sure ;)

 

**Kino Dorito:** I think i would know if I fucked my best friend

 

**Nekuro:** eh

 

**Nekuro:** you’d be surprised

 

**Sugamama:** Never mind him Kinoshita, what did you want to tell us?

 

**Kino Dorito:** Oh yeAH

 

**Kino Dorito:** I GOT A NEW DOG

 

**Kino Dorito** sent a file

 

**Bokuhoot:** DOG

 

**Sugamama:** DOG

 

**Hina ace:** DOG

 

**Dadchi:** DOG

 

**Yamagucci:** PUPPY

 

**Kino Dorito:** HIS NAMES NORI

 

**Kaminarita:** I’m on my way over

 

**Nekuro:** Oho?

 

**Bokuhoot:** Ohoho

 

**Dicktionary:** Can you not

 

**Kino Dorito:** LOOK AT MY SON

 

**Kino Dorito** sent a file

 

**Sugamama:** AWWWWWWW

 

**Hina ace:** he’s so cute!!!

 

**Kino Dorito** sent a file

 

**Kino Dorito:** Hes stolen my heart

 

**Fullo’shita:** From the box it’s been held captive in

 

**Kino Dorito:** ENNOSHITA CAN I HAVE ONE MOMEN T

 

**Fullo’shita:** Nope

 

**Kino Dorito** sent a file

 

**Kino Dorito:** Nori doesn’t approve

 

**Fullo’shita:** Pity that I’m a cat person

 

**Kino Dorito:** OH YEAH

 

**Kino Dorito:** I FORGOT YOU WERE A HEARTLESS BASTARD

 

**Nekuro:** i’m a cat person

 

**Kino Dorito:** The entirety of Nekoma doesn’t count you guys are genetically infused with cats

 

**Nekuro:** im not even gonna deny it

 

**Kaminarita:** Hisashi open your door i wanna see Nori

 

**Kino Dorito:** kay

 

**Fullo’shita** sent a link

 

**Fullo’shita:** Captain Jack Sparrow has the jar of dirt with my heart in it

 

**Bokuhoot:** IVE GOT A JAR OF DIRT

 

**Nekuro:** IVE GOT A JAR OF DIRT

 

**Bokuhoot:** AND GUESS WHATS INSIDE IT

 

**Dadchi:** I never would’ve expected Bokuto of all people to know English

 

**Bokuhoot:** whats that supposed to mean

 

**Dicktionary:** Bokuto is actually fluent in English

 

**Nekuro:** ya his mom grew up in America and his dad takes frequent trips to the uk

 

**Bokuhoot:** plus a good part of my family is from australia

 

**Dadchi:** Then I’m sorry for assuming

 

**Bokuhoot:** you good

 

**Bokuhoot:** even Akaashi was surprsed i knew english

 

**Bokuhoot:** speking of him

 

**Bokuhoot** added **Akaashi** to the chat

 

**Bokuhoot:** hope you guys dont mind

 

**Dicktionary:** I thought he said he didn’t want to be added

 

**Bokuhoot:** D:

 

**Akaashi:** I didn’t really care if I was added or not, I knew Bokuto would add me eventually

 

**Kino Dorito:** You can stay as long as you answer this question properly

 

**Akaashi:** Yes I am a dog person

 

**Kino Dorito:** ok you can stay

 

**Nekuro:** traitor

 

**Akaashi:** I have five dogs what do you expect

 

**Nekuro:** I HAVE TWO BUT IM STILL A CAT PERSON

 

**Akaashi:** You have ten cats

 

**Sugamama:** hOW

 

**Kittenma:** He feeds the neighborhood strays and they just tend to hang around his house so they’re technically not his cats, but they’re almost always around so we just call them his cats

 

**Nekuro:** only one of them is actually my cat lmao

 

**Sugamama:** Oh yeahhh

 

**Sugamama:** Isn’t his name Haruto or something

 

**Nekuro:** yep

 

**Nekuro:** i’m gonna take a wild guess and say that Kenma told you guys

 

**Sugamama:** Yeah when we were helping him decide Youta’s name

 

**Nekuro:** oh so that’s where he got it

 

**Nekuro:** I thought it was because of Hinata or smthn

 

**Kittenma:** Kuro.

 

**Nekuro:** whaaaaaat

 

**Nekuro:** i just made a statement

 

**Nekuro:** yall need to chill

 

**Dicktionary:** Did you just say yall

 

**Nekuro:** Yes?

 

**Dicktionary:** Why

 

**Nekuro:** cause I can

 

**Nekuro:** does it bother you?

 

**Dicktionary:** Yes.

 

**Nekuro:** so if i were to say

 

**Dicktionary:** Kuroo I swear to god

 

**Nekuro:** yalldve

 

**Dicktionary:** Stop

 

**Nekuro:** nyall

 

**Dicktionary:** Kuroo

 

**Nekuro:** nyalldve

 

**Dicktionary** left the chat

 

**Sugamama** added **Dicktionary** to the chat

 

**Sugamama:** Tsukishima no leaving

 

**Dicktionary:** I blame Kuroo

 

**Nekuro:** oh sure blame me for you hating yall

 

**Akaashi** renamed **Nekuro** to **Pain in the ass**

 

**Pain in the ass:** WOW

 

**Pain in the ass:** I SEE HOW IT IS AKAASHI

 

**Pain in the ass** renamed **Akaashi** to **Akaashit**

 

**Akaashit:** Eh, I’ve been called worse

 

**Sugamama:** Idk if I should be concerned or relieved

 

**Akaashit:** Either works

  


_Monday, 17:18_

  


**Dank Lord:** guyS HELP

 

**Fullo’shita:** What

 

**Buttercup:** who do I have to fight

 

**Assahi:** What’s wrong?

 

**Dadchi:** Please don’t tell me we have to bail you out of jail

 

**Pain in the ass:** I have an extra room if youre running from the cops

 

**Dank Lord:** wow u guys have no hope in me

 

**Sugamama:** I have no hope in any of you

 

**Sugamama:** Except maybe Ennoshita

 

**Kaminarita:** and here I was thinking you loved us

 

**Sugamama:** I don’t love any of you filthy children

 

**Sugamama:** I hate you all the same

 

**Kaminarita:** i’m not even offended

 

**Kaminarita:** anyway Noya what do you need help with

 

**Dank Lord:** THIS DUDE THINKS IM A PRIMARY STUDENT

 

**Dank Lord:** AND HES TRYING TO ESCORT ME BACK TO THE NEARESET ONE SINCE OUR UNIFORM IS SO CLOSE TO THEIRS

 

**Dank Lord:** I HAVE NEVER RUN SO FAST IN MY LIFE

 

**Dank Lord:** I DIDNT EVEN KNOW I COULD GO THAT FAST

 

**Dank Lord:** FUCK HES STILL CHASING ME

 

**Dank Lord:** WHAT THE HELL

 

**Assahi:** Where are you right now?

 

**Dank Lord:** IM ALMOST TO THE SAKANOSHITA SHOP

 

**Assahi:** I’ll meet you there

 

**Dank Lord:** THANK YO U

  


_Monday, 17:30_

  


**Assahi:** Oh my god

 

**Assahi:** That’s Daichi’s brother

 

**Sugamama:** really?

 

**Assahi** sent a file

 

**Sugamama:** Holy shit

 

**Fullo’shita:** Wait Daichi has a brother?

 

**Pain in the ass:** I see the resemblance

 

**Pain in the ass:** Quad God squared

 

**Pain in the ass:** like, goddamn

 

**Dadchi:** 1\. Yes I have a brother

 

**Dadchi:** 2\. Kuroo, he’s engaged

 

**Pain in the ass:** doesn’t hurt to try

 

**Yamagucci:** Not like your tact can get any worse

 

**Pain in the ass:** I am now seeing why Tsukki refers to you as a secret little shit

 

**Yamagucci:** ;)

 

**Pain in the ass:** did he just

 

**Pain in the ass:** did u just

 

**Pain in the ass:** why do i feel like i was lowkey insulted

 

**Yamagucci:** Maybe you were

 

**Yamagucci:** You’ll never know

 

**Pain in the ass:** TSUKKI YOUR FIRND IS SCARING ME

 

**Dicktionary:** And that’s my problem why?

 

**Pain in the ass:** he’s your friend

 

**Dicktionary:** I thought you said he’s my firnd

 

**Pain in the ass:** why are you like this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nyall

**Author's Note:**

> I will eventually make a pun from Tanaka's name meaning, but I wanted to use Rhinosuke :P
> 
> Comments and Kudos are appreciated!
> 
> Feel free to shout at me on [Tumblr](http://nishinoyalovesyuu.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
